My 2025 ins & outs
flossing, flow states, and female rage
(this post is a little long for email, please open it in your browser or substack app xx)
Happy New Year my loves <3
2024 rocked the foundations of my quiet life and forced me to believe in myself. It was a year that felt like years in the making. Trying to remember all that happened is impossible, but what I do remember is: big change, big growth, big love.
A little end/start of year reflection to set the scene, and then a little trip down memory lane. Ruminations wouldn’t be the letter that it is without you, dear reader. Remember that. Somewhere south of the equator, curled up on her couch by the window, coffee steaming on her olive green table, Frank Sinatra spinning on the record player close by, is a writer whose dream you keep alive—and she couldn’t be more grateful.
Ins:
Entering creative flow states >>>
Book stacks
Fountain pens, blood-red ink, field notes
Flossing
Active body + mind
Sauna + ice baths to keep me sane
Probiotics
Homemade coffee
Finally learning how to invest
Mood boards
Spending more time in nature (walks, picnics, beach swims, sitting in the sun)
Bunny / rabbit / hare symbolism
Tabis
Unapologetic first drafts
Curiosity
Wrinkles, smile lines, crooked teeth
Dissertation writing + experimental poetry
FEMALE RAGE
Outs:
Bed rotting + doom scrolling—a deadly combo, I would hate to know the amount of time I spent horizontally in 2024
Letting fear win
Trying to be anyone but myself (f*ck micro trends)
Bad posture
Burnout
Staying in my comfort zone
Comparison
Procrastinating booking appointments
Noodle cups
Hangovers
Surface-level interactions (with others, research topics, ideas)
Eating out < eating at home
Being lactose intolerant (I wish </3)
Caring about others' opinions and perceptions of me
Postponing joy
Ruminations Wrapped
Thank you for inspiring me to do this <3
Read hers here.
The series that sparked my new-found love for interviewing:
Altars & Artists: Divining the Poetry of Artists' Spaces
In her seminal essay A Room of One’s Own, Virginia Woolf famously proclaimed that a woman must have “a room of her own if she is to write fiction”1, calling for everyone’s right, regardless of gender, to autonomy over their creative space as an extension of their intellectual freedom. It’s a proclamation echoed throughout the decades and remains relevant almost 100 years later...
The post that was the most cathartic to write:
Why can't you meet your own gaze?
There comes a point where we must face ourselves. Stare down the barrel of a gun reflected in a bulletproof mirror. Meet our own eye. It’s hard to avoid your reflection these days. Over time, I’ve grown more accustomed to mine — the pointed bow of my lips, the sweep of my hairline, the fine fuzz of my brows — but only to an extent. I struggle to accept my patchwork skin, all scabs and scars, from years spent nose to reflected nose...
The post you loved the most:
Altars & Artists: Robin Waldun
Please welcome Altars & Artist guest — Robin Waldun. Robin Waldun is a researcher, YouTuber and author of the popular newsletter: A Mug of Insights. His work can be boiled down to one question: what is an education in the humanities for? And his projects closely document his investigations in writing and multi-media....
The essay-turned-love-letter:
A Rising Tide Lifts All Boats
Almost every month over the last two years, I’ve made a quick tea and dinner, brought it to my desk, logged onto a Zoom call, opened Notion, and worked on my latest creative projects. Each time, between one and four other writers have populated the meeting room and from the glowing corners of my screen, welcomed me back to the craft. Usually, it’s late at night or early in the morning...
The post I am most proud of / my bravest post yet:
I'm shedding my pseudonym.
The fear of being perceived has been a thorn in my creative side for most of my life. Although I have always wanted to be a writer, I haven’t always wanted to be myself. I was twenty-one and a nursing student when I decided to self-publish my first poetry collection under a pseudonym. I argued that a pen name would...
Thank you for being a part of my journey. I love you. I hope this year you are braver, kinder, fiercer. Especially fiercer.
And I hope you become more you.
Yours truly,
Caitlin x
In case you missed it…